Resource Rather Than Enabling

You can do what someone else wants you to do or asks you to do, and they may never be satisfied. The more you do for them willingly, and with little comment they may continue to increase the frequency of requests. Requests that have no concern as to your time, responsibilities, or kindness that has started to be taken advantage of with the need to come to you with requests. Even through all this the formation of criticisms as to how you completed the task, or what you could have done better may arise. This isn't to place blame on the individual making the requests as being selfish or inconsiderate, it’s to begin to acknowledge the way that you let others treat you as you make your choices. No one can make you do anything unless you give them that power. The power to act upon guilt, feeling responsible or needed, or overextending oneself in order to please someone else is an individual choice. You're not the only one who can get it done! You're not responsible for providing an ongoing acceptance of requests as someone did something for you before, or because you would feel guilty if you didn’t. It’s not your responsibility. Saying no, or placing limitations as to how much involvement you will have doesn’t make you a better nor worse friend, neighbor, relative, or colleague. If you make excuses to continue to extend yourself to do things for others that they are competent to do for themselves, with or without assistance it’s a choice you are making. Don’t let guilt, fear, or the need to “people please” direct your actions and decisions. Maintain your personal boundaries, and respect for yourself as well as others by encouraging others to do what their capable of for themselves. There's a difference in being a reliable resource for others, and being an enabler.

Peace, Blessings, Love and Light

BreezESOL 5/8/2021